It's [after, but recorded before] the 4th of July!! And you know what that means. When you're here, you're family! I ain't talkin' 'bout no Olive Garden. I'm talkin' 'bout a cousin roundtable. Cousins who come from the mean streets of... San Diego, Portland, and Cherry Valley. You, my friend, do not have to subject yourself to your fears tonight. Disregard your night frights and hatred of cults. You're going to step out onto the mezzanine, give yourself a milk bath, and listen to this podcast. If you ask me, it can be enjoyed like a European 6-course meal or like a lonely Paris dinner. Either way you win.
"I love Orgy... the band." - Literally the (almost) opening words to the episode. Why would you not listen? So this episode turned into a reminiscing of X-Files for a while, but with our friends Jon and Bill, it's wayyy awesome. We get down and dirty with the memories without even turning our rotary dials or flipping through an Encyclopedia Brittanica. But, you know, just come and learn the how's: how to eat grapefruit, how to refer to carbonated beverages, and how to spell words that you'll never use. Special TRL mention toward the end. Our treat to you.
Special guest alert!! Bet you can't guess his name by this title. Yeah, okay. It's Liam. We sit on the precipice of the black hole that is Rockford, get into our vessel, and time travel back to ye good old days. And by the way, one of us is wearing pizza. Obviously, this makes one of us the winner of the podcast. But I digress... Liam - from Hotshitshotglassworks - brings us into the world of glassworking, and it is legitimately fascinating to hear about and look at (and use if you're so inclined). So if you don't want us to personally come to your house and flick tiny paper bullets at you, you'll listen. Besides, Hayley finishes her beer before Dave so you'll hear that miracle take place.
...Featuring Eric & Rachel Johnson! What what! So imagine you're floating in a sea of Benedict Cumberbatches. You ponder what moniker to replace your name with but stop to have a Lawnmower Saison on the way. All of a sudden Ke$ha is out the gate presuming to goad you into some midnight Uncle Nick's. You stop into the bathroom to expel your limejuice pee and wake up to find that you're actually in a gum tree. And you're Britney. Bitch. ...And that's the episode!
There are precious few miracles in this world. Tonight we ignore those miracles and talk about, well... just look at this episode's title. So about poop - can anybody help us figure out what the deal is with the guy's power hour vs. the girl's 3-sentence poop? I suppose as always women poop on Venus, men poop on Mars. And lookie here: we've got Double-O Davelicious, Six-cereal-bowl Hayley, and Halloween-moving Staci to speak on the matter. Come poop with us. And while you're at it, we might want your children for a future episode. Give us your children for the sake of garbage.
Yep. We gotz thingz on our mindz tonight. And how about that use of Z's instead of S's? What other letters could we add to this description for your pleasure? Certainly we couldn't add any numbers cuz we ain't got no math skillz. Tonight we talk timelezz muzak, Nicki Minaj's azz, and Plesiosaurz. And hey, did you know that Hayley is a true crime freak? If you're not careful, she'll murder you with Rockford's finest hammers. Sleep Tight!
Welcome to our most Frasier-inspired episode! If it proves anything, it's that we love cats and Tom Chapin. But as the title indicates, the theme tonight is, well, "intrusions". Our favorite intrusions? You'll have to listen to find out. Just know that along the way you'll be hearing about expert experts, peeing in Chili's, and alien butt-probing. Also, can any of you out there Babe Ruth your bowling game? Just listen. You'll know what we're talking about.
This episode is trouble. That starts with "T" which rhymes with "P" and that stands for podcast. It also stands for peeing wherever you want. We've got two radical guests for the night - Evan and Neva. One pours a great foam. The other knows how to say hello to kitties. Or something like that. Tune in tonight to hear mythical accents, decide whether you'd rather be dead or dead, and learn how to be a real Don. Or at least eat a real Don. By the way, have you been to our house? Ever notice how our living room couch is brown and not gray? That's all! Daniel Radcliffe Fart Boat!!
Do you like fully formed theme song intros and outro? Well you will hate this episode! However, if you like awesome friends and totally [not] fact-checked statements, you'll love this episode! Let me give you the run-down: Gorillas lead to Cheetos (thank you Candace); Cheetos lead to fabled Californier Cheetos; Califorier fables lead to wackin' machines (thank you Ryan); wackin' machines lead to Rockford's wave of the future. Hmm, after that we kind of beat box, discuss our ideal heist, and generally go off the rails. If you make it to the end, we probably touch on this episode's topic. That would be "superstitions".