Special guest alert!! Bet you can't guess his name by this title. Yeah, okay. It's Liam. We sit on the precipice of the black hole that is Rockford, get into our vessel, and time travel back to ye good old days. And by the way, one of us is wearing pizza. Obviously, this makes one of us the winner of the podcast. But I digress... Liam - from Hotshitshotglassworks - brings us into the world of glassworking, and it is legitimately fascinating to hear about and look at (and use if you're so inclined). So if you don't want us to personally come to your house and flick tiny paper bullets at you, you'll listen. Besides, Hayley finishes her beer before Dave so you'll hear that miracle take place.
...Featuring Eric & Rachel Johnson! What what! So imagine you're floating in a sea of Benedict Cumberbatches. You ponder what moniker to replace your name with but stop to have a Lawnmower Saison on the way. All of a sudden Ke$ha is out the gate presuming to goad you into some midnight Uncle Nick's. You stop into the bathroom to expel your limejuice pee and wake up to find that you're actually in a gum tree. And you're Britney. Bitch. ...And that's the episode!
There are precious few miracles in this world. Tonight we ignore those miracles and talk about, well... just look at this episode's title. So about poop - can anybody help us figure out what the deal is with the guy's power hour vs. the girl's 3-sentence poop? I suppose as always women poop on Venus, men poop on Mars. And lookie here: we've got Double-O Davelicious, Six-cereal-bowl Hayley, and Halloween-moving Staci to speak on the matter. Come poop with us. And while you're at it, we might want your children for a future episode. Give us your children for the sake of garbage.
Yep. We gotz thingz on our mindz tonight. And how about that use of Z's instead of S's? What other letters could we add to this description for your pleasure? Certainly we couldn't add any numbers cuz we ain't got no math skillz. Tonight we talk timelezz muzak, Nicki Minaj's azz, and Plesiosaurz. And hey, did you know that Hayley is a true crime freak? If you're not careful, she'll murder you with Rockford's finest hammers. Sleep Tight!
Welcome to our most Frasier-inspired episode! If it proves anything, it's that we love cats and Tom Chapin. But as the title indicates, the theme tonight is, well, "intrusions". Our favorite intrusions? You'll have to listen to find out. Just know that along the way you'll be hearing about expert experts, peeing in Chili's, and alien butt-probing. Also, can any of you out there Babe Ruth your bowling game? Just listen. You'll know what we're talking about.
This episode is trouble. That starts with "T" which rhymes with "P" and that stands for podcast. It also stands for peeing wherever you want. We've got two radical guests for the night - Evan and Neva. One pours a great foam. The other knows how to say hello to kitties. Or something like that. Tune in tonight to hear mythical accents, decide whether you'd rather be dead or dead, and learn how to be a real Don. Or at least eat a real Don. By the way, have you been to our house? Ever notice how our living room couch is brown and not gray? That's all! Daniel Radcliffe Fart Boat!!
Do you like fully formed theme song intros and outro? Well you will hate this episode! However, if you like awesome friends and totally [not] fact-checked statements, you'll love this episode! Let me give you the run-down: Gorillas lead to Cheetos (thank you Candace); Cheetos lead to fabled Californier Cheetos; Califorier fables lead to wackin' machines (thank you Ryan); wackin' machines lead to Rockford's wave of the future. Hmm, after that we kind of beat box, discuss our ideal heist, and generally go off the rails. If you make it to the end, we probably touch on this episode's topic. That would be "superstitions".
Have you ever been close to tragedy or been close to one who has? No? Well... Have you ever heard of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones? Okay, so this episode is all about first impressions: appearances, fiddlers who like to tell us they're the shit, presidents who talk to lost little Macaulay Culkins. You know the drill. I mean, come on though. We also discuss putting a shirt on our bald cat. OH! But guess what? Hayley is the beer engineer on this one. And by beer engineer, I mean sound engineer. She gets to sit in the boss ski chair and everything. To top it off, we even enjoy a sweet second of loving mammaries... I mean memories! And if this is your first time listening, please enjoy our ramblings. Just don't diarrhea in your pants about it.
Get ready, because you might just have the urge to organize your Band-Aids after this episode. But your Q-tips? Just keep those in your Q-tip box. What could we possibly offer your earholes this week that we don't offer any other Wednesday night of the year? Frenometers, indecipherable Japanese toilet symbols, and dicks in our mouth. Gems... obviously. You like brunch? We got you. You like marshmallows? We got em. Wanna look at our coffee table? I don't think so. AWTOTG OUT!
You wanted an episode about Facebook? You got an episode about Facebook! Just kidding. Nobody asked. But hey, it's not like we're on FB 200 times a day... sort of. Come stalk us to your favorite Halloween stalking soundtrack. We talk farty pigs, stirrup leggings, hashtags, and hash bags. No, not hash bags. It's like we're a couple of old aunties gabbing like a couple of frenemies. And by the end of the podcast we even have a baby! Oh my. I think I've told like 4 lies in this description so it's probably bedtime. Too bad, because I'm heating up like FB in '05! BOOM! Okay, seriously. Goodnight.