This episode is trouble. That starts with "T" which rhymes with "P" and that stands for podcast. It also stands for peeing wherever you want. We've got two radical guests for the night - Evan and Neva. One pours a great foam. The other knows how to say hello to kitties. Or something like that. Tune in tonight to hear mythical accents, decide whether you'd rather be dead or dead, and learn how to be a real Don. Or at least eat a real Don. By the way, have you been to our house? Ever notice how our living room couch is brown and not gray? That's all! Daniel Radcliffe Fart Boat!!
Do you like fully formed theme song intros and outro? Well you will hate this episode! However, if you like awesome friends and totally [not] fact-checked statements, you'll love this episode! Let me give you the run-down: Gorillas lead to Cheetos (thank you Candace); Cheetos lead to fabled Californier Cheetos; Califorier fables lead to wackin' machines (thank you Ryan); wackin' machines lead to Rockford's wave of the future. Hmm, after that we kind of beat box, discuss our ideal heist, and generally go off the rails. If you make it to the end, we probably touch on this episode's topic. That would be "superstitions".
Have you ever been close to tragedy or been close to one who has? No? Well... Have you ever heard of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones? Okay, so this episode is all about first impressions: appearances, fiddlers who like to tell us they're the shit, presidents who talk to lost little Macaulay Culkins. You know the drill. I mean, come on though. We also discuss putting a shirt on our bald cat. OH! But guess what? Hayley is the beer engineer on this one. And by beer engineer, I mean sound engineer. She gets to sit in the boss ski chair and everything. To top it off, we even enjoy a sweet second of loving mammaries... I mean memories! And if this is your first time listening, please enjoy our ramblings. Just don't diarrhea in your pants about it.
Get ready, because you might just have the urge to organize your Band-Aids after this episode. But your Q-tips? Just keep those in your Q-tip box. What could we possibly offer your earholes this week that we don't offer any other Wednesday night of the year? Frenometers, indecipherable Japanese toilet symbols, and dicks in our mouth. Gems... obviously. You like brunch? We got you. You like marshmallows? We got em. Wanna look at our coffee table? I don't think so. AWTOTG OUT!
You wanted an episode about Facebook? You got an episode about Facebook! Just kidding. Nobody asked. But hey, it's not like we're on FB 200 times a day... sort of. Come stalk us to your favorite Halloween stalking soundtrack. We talk farty pigs, stirrup leggings, hashtags, and hash bags. No, not hash bags. It's like we're a couple of old aunties gabbing like a couple of frenemies. And by the end of the podcast we even have a baby! Oh my. I think I've told like 4 lies in this description so it's probably bedtime. Too bad, because I'm heating up like FB in '05! BOOM! Okay, seriously. Goodnight.
No breaks bitches! Instead of taking a beginning of the year break like a couple of nancies, we decided to hit it hard tonight. And my - don't we look tough for it? In this episode, we walk a lot of lines: modern families, censorship, religion, and more. Hayley might have even confessed her devotion to her soulmate, Pee Wee Herman. Stop being a bag of old bad lotion. Contour your face like a 13-year-old. Throw some dirt in your face like you got money in da bank. Now you're ready to get into this episode. And if it isn't enough, you can just go buy a puzzle.
You think you know 2016? Well, you don't know nothin'. Ok, well maybe you do. If you're not a mineral, the undead, or an intangible number system then you probably experienced this crazy year through some sort of wits. We talk about death and... umm... death. I mean I suppose the Cubs won, some awesome couples got married, and new life entered the world, but we're pessimists! With the new year a-coming we hope to make good on our promises from last year (pretty much all of which we broke of course). More guests. More segments. More cats. Wait! No! Two cats are enough! Dang it. See ya'll next year.
Disneyworld! Need we say anymore? Just close your eyes because we are about to take you on a rollercoaster ride. Why did it take a whole two and a half weeks for us to talk about Disney, you ask? Because we needed a freakin' vacation from our vacation ya freakazoid! Don't be a Dole Whip Disappointment. Just listen. You might even hear us fight about Christmas wrapping. Real talk, bitches.
In this episode we look to the future. All the way to the year 2000. Well, you know what I mean. Stop being so hoi-tay toi-tay about future socie-tay. So what do we have to look forward to in the future of human society? A new Theodore Rex, cold Russian winters without skin, film re-boobs, and dungeon lego sex that would make the Marquis de Sade blush. Our awesome friend Eric joins us just in time for a rare Zoe sighting. Together we also discuss how beers that fall out of trucks need new homes and we try not to think about things that come... in a box... in a package. Listen to this episode and you might just find that you will literally really really really defy both gravity and speed. And with that - skoal!
The dark whispers that call you in the night. The creaking of the floors when... Hahaha, jkjkjk. That was last week's episode description. This week is actually part 2 of the podcast recorded a week ago. Our world-famous panel (Raven, Staci, and Ted... in alphabetical order) continues the discussion on conspiracies. We gotz opinions from Werner; we talkin' Dorito Moon; we reminiscin' on Acid Reflex's jukebox hits; we blamin' stuff on Cuba Gooding, Jr. I don't know. Just listen to this dang episode. Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving! Oh, and remember Hanes?!